Search This Blog

Monday, September 3, 2012

Anything Worth Having...

Anything Worth Having...

    I don't who first coined the phrase, "Anything worth having is worth fighting for," but I officially know what this means now because of you.

    I wanted you more than anything in the world.  I spent two years dreaming about you and hoping that one day, God would bless me with you.  In this life, I have never desired anything more than you.  With that being said, I feel as if my want for you has been  put to the test.  From extreme morning sickness to special doctors.  From extremely expensive ultrasounds to this new crazy rash.  Each time I get one step closer to holding you in my arms and achieving my dream, it seems as if another obstacle gets in the way.

     As I previously mentioned, I have broken out in this ridiculously itchy rash.  The rash started on my belly and after about a week, it has now spread to my chest and back.  I thought it may be ringworm, but I'm thinking it is PR now.  Of course, I went to Google and researched PR.  One thing you will learn, after about two minutes of living with me, is that I worry to no avail and my curiosity is often my demise.  After researching, I discovered conflicting information: it can be a serious skin condition in pregnant women and it causes no harm to pregnant women their babies.  I choose to focus on the worst case scenario (another quality of mine that I hope you do not get.) PR can cause stillbirth, miscarriage, and floppy baby syndrome when contracted during the first 15 weeks of pregnancy.  During weeks 16-20, mothers who have PR are more likely to have babies with weak muscle definition.  After 20 weeks (we are 27) I have only found that sometimes preterm labor can occur.

     I broke down and cried myself to sleep last night.  I prayed to God and questioned him at the same time (try not to ever do that.)  Why is this happening?  Why can't things be easier?  Why can't I enjoy this pregnancy without all this unnecessary
stress?  Why must this be so difficult?  At this point, God answered me back..."Anything worth having is worth fighting for."

    Each obstacle we face only brings you and I closer together.  Two years ago I wanted you so badly.  I wanted you with every fiber of my being.  Today, I want you even more than I could have ever began to imagine.  Every problem that arises only makes me realize, deep in my soul, how much I want you.  In life, things that come easily are never appreciated as much as the things we have to work for, and believe me, we have worked for you.  You will never be taken for granted, because you are worth having and so worth fighting for.  I will see you in a few months...happy and healthy and beyond loved.

No comments:

Post a Comment