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Monday, December 30, 2013

Beautiful People Do Not Just Happen

I am a proud mom.  I am a biased mom.  I am a "Hey!  Look at what my kid can do" kind of mom.  But with all of those things taken into consideration, one of the first things people say when they see Cecilia is, "she is beautiful."  Now, I know what  you are thinking, dear reader, "Of course people say that...that's what you are supposed to say about a baby."  True, very true.  But my baby IS beautiful.

Sure, she has crystal blue eyes that can pierce your soul; eyes that will hold you spell bound for hours. Specks of white swirl with shades of blue.  "...her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing, and think it were not night.” She has beautiful eyes.
But that's not what makes her beautiful.



My little Ceci has a smile, like no other.  A million dollar, mega watt, puts-tooth-paste-adds-to-shame kind of smile.  The type of smile that just doesn't rest on her lips, but dances across her face...leaving no spot untouched, and that smile will dance all over your heart too. Yep, she has a beautiful smile.



But that's not what makes her beautiful.



Along with that pretty little smile, comes a precious little pout.  A pout that is sure to change a "no" into a "yes," a stern look into a smile, and create years of future trouble for her father and I.  There is not a pout around that is as pretty.



But that is not what makes her beautiful.



No, Ceci's beauty doesn't come from any of those things that strangers notice when they first see her.

Her beauty comes from her strength:  From her numerous blood draws and doctor's visits.  From needles and being held down on tables.  From exams after exams. From one prick, two pricks, three pricks. From long waits and no news. From echos and DNA analysis.  From genetics to cardiology to neurology.  From a daily fight against gravity and exhaustion. From never, ever, ever giving up and refusing to allow us to give up either.  From smiling through the pain and laughing through the tears.

To truly see and understand Ceci's beauty, one has to see Ceci's struggles.  Often times, I try, like many people, to keep my struggles silent and secret.  I don't want people to know my shortcomings.  However, Ceci has taught me that our weakness are nothing to be ashamed of, because in the end they are not what defines us. No, how we overcome, how we live, how we love that is what makes us beautiful...just like this...

"Make your mess your message."


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