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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Our Hypotonia Journey: The Bike Ride

The summer I was ten, I spent my days on my bike exploring and enjoying my new found freedom.  I spent the vast majority of my time frequenting a hill down the road from my house.  At the time, the hill looked massive to my tiny ten year old frame, and that intrigued me.

I can remember my daily treks up the hill.  The sun beating down on me.  My cheeks rosy red as sweat dripped down my furrowed brow.  I would pedal up that hill with all my might.

Half way up, my legs would start to burn, and I would get short of breath.  But still, I would pedal, because I was fully aware of the thrill that waited for me at the top.  And by the time I reached my destination, the top of the hill, my legs would tingle, and my back would ache.

And using what little strength I had left, I would proceed effortlessly down that hill.  My heart racing with excitement and the cool breeze dancing across my face,  I felt as if I were flying.  When I made it to the bottom, I was always so overcome with joy, that I would completely forget how daunting and exhausting the ride up was.

The ultrasounds, the cysts, and the sleepless nights were all a part of my uphill ride.  The doctors, the disappointments, and the worries were all a part of my uphill ride.

December 16th, 2012, the day Ceci was born, was the thrilling ride down.

When I woke up that morning, I immediately knew I was having contractions, so I did what any rational pregnant woman does, and I ate a box of mint Oreos.  I knew all too well, that after having a c-section, it would be a good twelve or more hours before I would be able to eat again.  Why not indulge?

After devouring the box of Oreos, we drove to the hospital.

As I waited to be taken back to the OR, I could hear the nurses in the hallway, directly outside of my room, mentioning "CPCs" (cysts,) and I knew they were talking about my baby.  Flooded once again with fears and worries, I did my best to stay positive, to stay focused, and to keep pedaling.

At 12:16 pm, on 12/16/12, my Ceci was born.  Anxiously, I waited to hear her cry, and when I heard her cry fill up that over-sized, cold OR, my heart was filled with warmth.

I looked at Brent and whispered imploringly, "T18?"

"No," he said,  "She's fine.  She's beautiful."

The anesthesiologist untied my hands as the nurse walked her over to me.

And the moment I saw her: her precious face, her head full of  fuzzy red hair, her soft baby skin, I was on my way down that massive hill.

And as I touched her little hand,  I could feel that cool breeze dancing across my face.

And when I kissed her sweet face, I was so overcome with joy, I completely forgot how daunting and exhausting the ride up really was.


4 comments:

  1. tears....so many tears!! Thank you for letting me be part of your journey. I will always remember the joy of meeting both your girls on their Bdays and how in awe of you I was (and still am)

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  2. Would not have wanted anyone else to be there to share in the experience.

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  3. Oh my she is such a beauty. I have read 3 posts and I am just in aww of you and your family. I think you have handled everything so very well.

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  4. Thank you! It's funny what you can handle when that's your only choice.

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