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Saturday, January 16, 2016

On Marriage and Special Needs Parenting

I have read the studies and stats on marriages between parents of children with special needs. I understand the struggle of trying to find a balance between the everyday demands of being a mother and a wife.  Most days, therapy sessions and doctors appointments take precedence over date nights and enlightening conversations. Sometimes, because they have to. Sometimes, because I allow them to.

Although our marriage may be slightly more complicated than the marriages of others, I owe it to my husband and to myself to make our marriage a priority.

So, to my husband, I promise you this:

I will communicate openly and honestly with you, and I will listen when you are ready to do the same.

I will take the time to celebrate and acknowledge your strengths, and I will be by your side to support you when you feel weak.

I will tell you how handsome you are at least three five times a day.

I will talk hospitals and therapies and diagnoses with you, and when you need a break, I will respect that.

I will laugh with you and cry with you, and laugh so hard with you that we both are in tears.

I will hug you.

I will encourage you to have interest outside of the home --  to relax, to rejuvenate, to recharge.

I will have interests outside of the home too -- for all of the same reasons as you, and to help cover up these grey hairs that have suddenly surfaced.

I will carve out time each day for the two of us to connect.  I will unplug and unwind.  I will focus on you, and I will protect our time to ensure it happens.

I will be your co-captain, your number one fan, and your biggest cheerleader.

 I will always love you.

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