11 Signs Summer Is Drawing to a Close

If you live in my neck of the woods, then you are fully aware summer is quickly coming to a close. There is only about four weeks left till school is back in session. How do I know? Well, it isn't because I glanced at my overpriced Erin Condren Life Planner or because the back to school items are spilling out of their homes on the shelves of Target and Walmart. I know summer is almost over when:

1. I don't know what day of the week it is, and there is absolutely no way I can tell you the date. Maybe I need an Erin Condren planner after all?!

2. I can't recall the last time I gave my kids a bath...unless, of course, swimming in the pool or running through the sprinklers count?!

3. I've been wearing the same t-shirt for the last three days, and I don't care who knows it.

4. My go-to beauty look is a highly disheveled ponytail and an ample amount of sunscreen. Okay, okay...like the t-shirt, the ponytail is also probably about three days old.

5. I contemplated feeding my kids Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. Again. Enough said.

6. I no longer care how I look in a swimsuit. That start of the swim season when I feel super self-conscious has passed. I'm officially Tyra Banks catwalking it like a boss...chasing after two kids at the Splash pad.

7. I forgot what time bedtime is supposed to be, and my kids are totally taking advantage of it.

8. I've pulled out all the stops, done all the summer fun summer stuff, vacationed, and now my kids are entertaining themselves with an empty vacuum cleaner box.

9. I've watched every episode of "Fixer Upper" on Netflix and Pinned no less than 110 home improvements. None of which I have actually completed...much less attempted.

10. I no longer respond to "mom" or "mommy" or any other variation of the word.

11. I've seen at least five teacher friends lament the arrival of back to school commercials and ads on their social media pages.

And while I understand their disappointment that all good things must come to an end. I won't lie. I'm kinda ready to head back to school. Because I know -- as well as anyone -- that in-between Parent-Teacher Conferences and Field Trips, state testing and early mornings, math homework and after school activities there is the promise of another beautiful summer just over the horizon. And that's more than enough for me.

7 Life Lessons for My Children

I hope you dream big and without fear. Search for buried treasures you may never find and build castles on clouds you will never live in, and in doing so, know that no matter how big or how silly a dream may seem, if it brings you happiness that is all that matters. Carry those dreams in a pocket close to your heart.  Pull them out on days when the world feels a little too gray and storm clouds loom.

I hope you explore the world around you and absorb it like a sponge. Dive into the deepest, darkest waters and climb to the tallest, towering points. Listen to the words of others as you go, and etch their stories on your heart. Fill your lungs with fresh air, and learn the native songs as they float around you.  The world is a truly beautiful place with so much to teach, and you have so much to learn.  Soak in the very simple lessons and the undeniably epic ones too -- each will help shape you into the person you will become.

I hope you know your value and never settle for less than you are worth -- at school, at work, and in relationships. Know that you are worthy of love and respect, and once you believe it, teach others how you expect to be treated. Don't allow others to berate you.  Don't berate yourself. Negative inner dialogue is often the thief of much happiness. Learn to love yourself. The rest will all work out.

I hope you stand strong in what you believe, even when you are standing alone and especially when you are standing up for others. There may be comfort in numbers, but nothing worth accomplishing is ever done out of comfort. Though you may feel small and your knees may shake, your one voice can make a tremendous difference. When others try to quiet you with threats and fears, this is the time your voice needs to be heard most. Value kindness over popularity and courage over conformity.

I hope you see that there is more good than bad in this world.  People will lead you to believe that monsters are lurking around every corner.  You will read terrible stories in newspaper that will make you feel uncertain and afraid.  And you will see horrible events on your television screen that will make you question humanity.  Don't believe everything the media tries to sell you. Instead, believe what you witness firsthand. Experience is a wise teacher, and he will show you the good people. There are many of them.  

I hope you laugh every day -- big laughs, belly laughs, laughs that come from the soul.  I hope you laugh loudly and boldly as tears stream down your face.  I hope you snort. I hope you almost pee your pants at least once from this type of laughter.  And I hope you cry with no apologies -- through heartbreaks and broken promises and earth shattering news.  I hope you are never afraid to feel your sadness, and I hope you are never too serious and solemn to share your amazing laugh with the world.  

I hope you find the beauty in the simple moments -- a child's small hand nestled in yours, the sound of faint giggles at bedtime, the way sun dances on your skin as the soft breeze kisses it, a warm embrace, the smell of freshly cut grass in the spring, the feel of the soft ground underneath your bare feet, a familiar face, the whispers of the rain, a kind parting word.  There is so much to appreciate in each second of every day.  Life is fast fleeting; live for the little moments.

Strong Women

I was raised by strong women.

Potato peeling,
Corn husking,
Hamburger cooking,
Fish frying,
There are kids starving in some countries,
Clean up your plate.

Dark haired,
Brown eyed,
Curler wearing,
French braiding,
Irish cooking,
German cleaning,
Spanish speaking,
Wanna talk about a melting pot?
Strong women.

I was taught by
God fearing,
Rosary carrying,
Church clothes wearing,
"I'll Fly Away" singing,
Bless me Father for I have sinned.

Tough talking,
Fast walking,
Loud laughing,
Better live life while you can
Strong women.

I was brought up by
Job juggling,
Single mother struggling,
Bill balancing,
Check bouncing,
Self sacrificing,
"We'll cross that bridge when come to it."

Dream reaching,
Risk preaching,
Live life with no regrets,
Forgive but don't forget,
Don't just sit there.
Don't just settle.
There's other tin cans in the junkyard.
Strong women.

I was raised by strong women.

10 Things I Never Thought I Would Say Until I Had My Daughters

As a mom of two girls, well meaning people often tell me how "lucky" I am, how calm my house must be, how quiet our days probably are.  I won't lie.  Each time the ultrasound tech said "girl," I breathed a sigh of relief.

I grew up with brothers.  I know what a house full of boys consists of, and it is more than the occasional and unintentional midnight dip into the toilet because someone left the seat up.  I remember my brothers taking their underwear and throwing it up into the ceiling fan, hoping the fan would then shoot the underwear out of the opened window and into the road.  And then there was always the veiled threat my mom would make under her breath to them, "It will fall off if you touch it too much.  That's what happened to Ali."  Yep, I spent ages eight through nine wondering if I was a girl because I had overly wandering hands.

While I thought a house full of girls would save me from the same fate as my own mother, I quickly learned that my girls were anything but the calm and quiet others wrongly assumed.  Here are the Top 10 Things I Never Thought I Would Say Until I Had Daughters:

1. I will buy you a toy/ice cream/something-else-absolutely-ridiculous-and-overly-priced if you poop.

2. Don't put boogers in your sister's hair.

3. We don't give Barbie a bath in the toilet.

4. Yes, your dress and shoes sparkle more than your sister's.

5. Did you just fart on your sister's head? We don't fart on people's heads, especially when they are trying to sleep.

6. Lisa Frank stickers do not go in your nose. Or your belly button. Or any other bodily orifices for that matter.

7. Stop peeing in the neighbor's yard.

8. Nutella is for eating, not face contouring.

9. Don't lick the table, t.v. screen, shoes, your sister's face.

10. You cannot ask random women if they are having a baby.

What's something you never thought you would say until you had children?

Tips for Parents Before an IEP Meeting

Confession: I missed my daughter's first IEP meeting. To me, this was akin to missing her first smile, her first steps, or her first day of school. Somehow, I managed to get the date and time flip-flopped.  Instead of the 8th at 10 am, I thought the meeting was the 10th at 8 am. 

As a mother, I felt extremely guilty when the school called me to remind me of my error. As a teacher, I felt incredibly embarrassed. I have sat in plenty of IEP meetings in my 8 years as an educator. I know firsthand how much planning, preparation and time it takes to conduct them. I have been there when parents have no showed. I've heard the sighs and the under-the-breath comments when -- after a phone call -- a parent cannot be reached. And I've seen the frustration when a parent never comes. 

But the other day, I was that parent. 

After the initial, "OMG! I missed my kid's IEP meeting" shock wore off, I realized one important truth: I am not the first parent to miss an IEP meeting, and I will not be the last.  However, with a bit of reflection and planning and a whole lot of advice from fellow moms, I am prepared to be prompt and present for the next one.  

Here are just a few common pointers I received: 

1. Purchase a nice planner. In my twenties, my memory served me well. However, as I slowly inch closer and closer to 40, my memory sometimes leads me astray. Having a planner will not only help with the occasional IEP scheduling, but it will also help with the scheduling of many doctor's appointment, therapy sessions, and maybe even little me time too. Mimosas anyone?

2. Call to confirm. Had I done this, I would have saved myself a lot of guilt and embarrassment, and I would have been able to actively participate in the decisions that were made for my daughter. While you're school district may give you a courtesy reminder call, many do not. In fact, sometimes all you will receive is a letter a month before the meeting as a reminder. If your memory is anything like mine -- see #1 -- then calling to confirm is a great way to make sure you have the time, date and place correct. 

3. Have the number of the school or the Special Education Department on hand. Sometimes life happens, and there is nothing that you can do about it. Babies get sick, cars won't start, MapQuest fails you. If you know you will be unable to attend ahead of time, call the school; they may be able to reschedule so you can participate. If that doesn't work, the school may be accommodating enough to allow you to participate via phone conference. Both are better options than not being able to participate at all. 

4. Have your paperwork organized in one central location. Anything from doctor's reports to therapy session paperwork is beneficial. Ensuring all of these important documents are in one place will save you time and energy the day of the meeting. If you haven't noticed organization is truly key. 

Hint: If you choose to keep the paperwork in a super special and super secret place, make sure you know where that place is. I learned that lesson the hard way.

5. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and then, forgive yourself. No one can deny that part of parenting is making mistakes.  The key is to learn from them and move forward.  

Believe me, if to err is human, then I'm about as human as they come, and it's okay if you are too.

55 Thoughts Parents Have on Christmas Day

Remember when we were children and perfect? Remember when we woke up late Christmas morning, unwrapped presents slowly and enjoyed quality time with our family until it was time for bed? Yeah, me neither, and now is the time we pay for it with our own children, who have somehow learned how Christmas works through osmosis. 

So, without further ado, here are 55 thoughts every parent is bound to have on Christmas Day.

1. Is it really time to wake up?
2. Well, the kids are up, so yes, it is.
3. 5 AM.
4. No, don't open presents without me there!
5. Can I at least get coffee first?  
6. Can we feed your sister before the kraken awakens inside her?
7. Okay, now presents.
8. ONE AT A TIME!
9. Only open the ones strategically placed in front of you, with your name on it!
10. Yes, I know papa is Santa, but don't let your siblings know.
11. No, the elf isn't real. Again, don't let your siblings know.
12. The presents at our house are just as fun as the ones you'll open next. Let's take our time and enjoy them!
13. Okay! Now that the paper is off, play.
14. Yes, all of these presents are amazing, but does every single one need to be out of their packages in the first 5 minutes?
15. You know what, now is the perfect time to start writing that birthday wish list full of all the presents you didn't get for Christmas (aka: please let this occupy your time for more than a few seconds.)
16. Aaaaaand we’re bored.
17. Is it lunch time yet? If it's not, we’re saying it is. Mommy needs a break.
18. (It's just now an appropriate breakfast time)
19. I should probably start on that dish I needed to make today.
20. What was I cooking again?
21. Oh yay! Time to leave our house a mess and carry on the celebration at someone else's house.
22. Why are your socks not on?
23. Where is your coat now? It's 10 degrees outside!
24. Why are we going anywhere again?
25. Oh yeah, food.
26. Speaking of food, did we have to bring some?
27. Did we remember to bring everyone in from the car?
28. (Now is the moment I remember that I got my kids dressed up nicely, my in-laws look fantastic, and I look like I crawled out of a dumpster)
29. More presents that must all be unwrapped and out of their packages immediately!
30. Do we need to play with the noisy ones right this second?
31. Please don't say that's already lost/broken.
32. Are you sure I need to help pick up? I still haven't cleaned at my own house.
33. Yes, a movie sounds fantastic!
34. Aaaaand a kid has already left the room.
35. This is why my mother-in-law cooks. It's quiet in the kitchen.
36. I see half the sugar cookies have disappeared, and we haven't even gotten to frost them yet.
37. I also see your new cardigan is covered in crumbs, but don't worry, I can't be 100% sure who stole the cookies without proper forensic evidence and an eyewitness testimony.
38. More people! Normally, I'd be hiding by now, but this means more people to help with the kids!
39. Is food done? Food is done!
40. Please don't wipe that on your shirt.
41. If you don't like it, don't spit it back in the bowl you took it from.
42. No, you can't eat off my plate when yours is exactly the same.
43. Time for one more movie? I was ready for bed 3 hours ago.
44. You mean we have to pack up presents AND kids before we leave?
45. It was totally an accident that we left the noisy toys at your place.
46. You sure they can't stay here as my Christmas present?
47. See you in a week so we can repeat for New Years (minus presents.)
48. Home at last. Oh yeah, it's still a mess here.
49. I know your toys are amazing.
50. No, "Noisy T. Rex 2000" can't sleep with you.
51. No, the Christmas lights can't stay on in your room all night.
52. Wasn't it bedtime an hour ago?
53. Can wrapping paper and toy boxes be considered Christmas decorations, so I don't have to pack them up before New Years?
54. Time for mommy time! Bring on my presents!
55. Did I say presents? I meant wine. Bring on the wine!

If you have larger family or multiple parties these steps may need to be repeated. And don't worry! If this wasn't fun enough there's always next year! Enjoy and happy holidays!

For the month of December, we will be celebrating the holidays with our 12 Days of Christmas. Be sure to check back for a new holiday piece by a new contributor.

Sage Rogers has been described as a b***h, lover, child, and mother but it's not legal to use those words together for fear of copyright infringement, so instead, Sage is a mother of 4, married, and by wine she meant rum.

Celebrating the Holidays -- The New American Tradition

Growing up in a small German town with a Native American name, I always knew my family was a little different.  

For starters, we weren’t very German, and we weren’t one of the town’s old German families.  My grandparents settled here because it was the halfway point between both of their families, Harrisburg and Alton, Illinois.  My mother, the military brat, met my father, the farm boy, in high school and decided to stay and raise their children in the same small town where they graduated.  They were married in the Baptist church on the west end of town, but my brother and I were christened in another one of the town’s six religious establishments, the United Church of Christ.  I would classify my religious upbringing as, well, diverse.  You’ve heard of “bar hoppers” and “pool hoppers?”  We were church hoppers, always sampling the latest variety of religious fanaticism.  

  

The holidays were a mixture of all of the traditions we picked up over the years.  We celebrated Christmas with the traditional Christmas tree and Easter with the usual egg hunt, but we also incorporated more regional traditions, such as Saint Nick’s Day, where we would set out our shoes every December 5th in the hopes that Saint Nick would bring us something sweet the following morning.  

My mother, ever the religious zealot, told my brother and I that Santa Clause wasn’t real when I was five years old.  She didn’t want us to believe in Santa because she felt that Christmas should be about Christ.  I remember this event clearly, like one of those game-changing moments in life where you can recall where you were and what you were wearing the moment it happened.  She sat my brother and I down on our stone fireplace in our jammies right before bedtime, and explained to us that Santa was wasn’t real, but that other children still believed in him, so even though we knew it was all fictitious, we couldn’t tell any of our friends our “insider information.”  I remember feeling robbed; like no longer believing in Santa was something only adults did.  But now I understand why my mother did this for us, and I have grown to appreciate her frank honesty.     

Now that I have my own child, I struggle with reconciling my own beliefs with the wishes of his father, and the traditions he grew up believing in.  On the one hand, I want my son to have the idyllic childhood that all parents wish for their children; but on the other hand, I don’t want him to get lost in the fantasy.  I want him to remember the reason for this magical season, and I want him to grow up with the knowledge and morals of Jesus Christ.  

His father sees no harm in allowing this childhood fantasy to continue, and part of me agrees with him, but I can’t help feeling like I’m lying to my child.  The guilt I feel over this situation is almost incapacitating.  It has forced me into a stalemate where I simply choose not to make a choice, so the fantasy goes on…for now.  

Meanwhile, my mother has finally found her place in religious society.  She has converted to a sect of Judaism that practices the tenants of the Old Testament, but also chooses to believe in Jesus Christ as our savior.  What this means for the rest of the family is a very full social calendar, for we now celebrate both Christian and Jewish holidays.  Christmas and Hanukkah.  Easter and Passover.  New Year’s and Rosh Hashanah.

As the family has grown, we have welcomed new members with new beliefs and traditions.  My aunt, for example, is traditional Catholic and refuses to eat brisket at Passover if it falls on a Friday, while my new sister-in-law is Mexican and has never Celebrated Thanksgiving, let alone Hanukkah.  Needless to say, our holiday meals are anything but traditional.  We have tamales on Easter, and tilapia on Passover.    

Just about the only belief we don’t tolerate in my family is intolerance.

For the month of December, we will be celebrating the holidays with our 12 Days of Christmas. Be sure to check back for a new holiday piece by a new contributor. 

Nicole Bailey lives in Shiloh, Illinois with her 6-year-old son, Jack, and fiancé Anthony Moore.  She is a certified teacher of Elementary education, and spends her time substituting for local school districts.  

Why Santa Brings the Presents at My House

One of my fondest memories of Christmas was when I was six. We lived in a rented house that was decent enough, but certainly not wonderful. My single mother worked two or three jobs, while also raising two children—one with special needs.  Money was tight, but my mom did her best to provide good food, decent clothing and a nice Christmas when she could.

I don't remember much about my 6th Christmas, but I do remember my present from Santa -- a tiger striped bike.

That year, my mom cried so much because we had no money. She filled our stockings with borrowed pencils, paperclips, pens and notepads from her work because she didn’t have a single cent to buy us candy or trinkets.  She did her Christmas shopping at the Good Will, because that’s the only place she could afford to shop at. And in the Good Will, she came across my Christmas bike.

The bike wasn’t in the best condition, but the tires were good (though flat) and the frame didn’t have any serious damage to it. The price was $10.00 -- a good price for a bike, but too much for my mother to afford. Aware that Good Will usually doesn’t barter, my mom tried anyway and asked if the cashier would please take $5.00. To her surprise, he agreed and she bought the bike right then and there.

While we slept, she worked on cleaning the bike up, pumping up the tires and hand painting the tiger-stripes. It was my first bike that didn’t have training wheels and was a golden yellow with true black tiger-like stripes on it. And although it wasn’t brand new like the bikes my friends were gifted,  I didn’t even realize it, because mine had character—no one had ever seen a bike like mine— it was the perfect gift.

To keep the magic of Christmas alive, my mom made the bike from Santa and didn’t tell me until I was seventeen the true story behind the best present I ever received.  Since that Christmas, we’ve become better off and have had larger Christmases with more and bigger presents, but that tiger bike has forever held a special spot in my heart.

Lately, I’ve seen articles and blogs and Facebook posts about Christmas presents and Santa Clause. Some people say you shouldn’t give expensive or big presents from Santa because not all parents can buy the same presents and children won’t understand why “Santa discriminates”, but most children don’t even think of that. Most children are caught up in the magic of Christmas and in the idea of Santa Clause.  The presents -- be they big or small -- are special. Neither my brother nor I felt jilted or discriminated against with our stockings full of borrowed office supplies. We didn’t wonder why we got a used jacket and the people down the road got a new one.

While I don’t remember much about that specific Christmas, I do remember my present from Santa that year—a beloved $5.00 tiger striped bike.

In the end, Christmas is what you and your family make of it.

Check back for more 12 Days of Christmas!

Rachel is a 29 year old wife and mother of 2 children -- one with special and complex needs.

4 Truths Your Photographer Wants You to Know This Holiday Season

We all see beautiful family photos on social media, and we get Christmas card worthy shots in the mail every year. Each image makes you say, “Oh, my! How perfect are they?”  You may even feel a little envious as you think about trying to sit your family in front of a camera for that perfect shot. 

What if I told you I can guarantee that two minutes before that perfect shot, the adorable toddler pictured before you was actually throwing a fit and the sweet baby was screaming? And mom, oh man, she probably could have used a glass of wine! 

There are certain things, as a photographer, I know and wish my clients knew before sitting down in front of my camera.  As I wrap up a busy fall and even more busy "Christmas Mini Sessions" season,I am reminded of these things on almost a daily basis.

Here are a few things every photographer knows and wants you to keep in mind for your family holiday shoot:

1. I promise, I am just as excited as you are, and your session is just as important to me as it is to you.

I am a photographer because it is my passion, and it was my passion long before I decided to build a business. The great thing is, I now get to share my passion with so many people! How awesome is that?! The day I stop getting excited and loving what I do, is the day I stop taking appointments. I want nothing more than to have happy clients -- clients who will come back to me year after year.  I feel blessed to be able to capture milestones and memories for you, and I want you to look at your photos years later and smile -- maybe even remember how much fun we had that day! You are important to me because you are the heart and soul of my business; without my clients, I am taking pictures of sunsets and tractors.  Know your session is the only thing on my mind, and it stays on my mind long after you go home and wait patiently for you photos.

2. Take a deep breath, mamma. All kids are crazy.  

I am a mother, I know that your kid is not going to cooperate the entire time we are shooting. And that is OK! I assure you, it only takes 2.2 seconds for me to get a good shot.  The best thing for you to do is relax, just keep looking at the camera and smiling. I promise I will get your little one to look at me long enough to get that perfect shot.  Trust me. If you are tense and worried, neither of us will be happy with the outcome of the photo shoot. The same applies to that furry family member; you look at me, and I’ll get the dog to not look like a misbehaved nut. I know when we all need a break and that provides a perfect opportunity for me to snap those candid shots we all love. Let them run. Let them play. Let them be themselves. You will thank me when you see your beautiful child’s personality shine in that photo.

3. I will spend hours obsessing over your session. Literally.

Post processing is a time consuming task. When I sit down to edit your session, I relive the entire shoot, photo by photo. I sit and stare at your photos until my eyes go wonky. I take a break, and I keep going. In my eyes, your pictures have to be perfect. There are no short cuts, no easy way to provide my best work to you. I was only made aware of how consuming this task is when I started my photography venture. I, like many of you, have sat impatiently waiting for my photos to be done. At times, I even got annoyed with how long it seemed to be taking, Little did I know that as I was obsessing over wanting to see my photos, my photographer was obsessing over making sure they were perfect. As a photographer, my work does not stop when we part ways at your session. I will put in hours upon hours on your photographs. I will give up time with my family to ensure the memories I have captured for you are beautiful.

4. I am anxiously waiting to hear from you after you see the final photographs.

Seriously, it consumes me. I am so excited when I finish a session in its entirety. I am holding my breath hoping you will love them. When I hear back from a client after they have viewed their session, it makes my day! I am in love with what I do, I take pride in my work, and when you take the time to tell me you love them, I jump for joy. My heart smiles when I see my work on your social media and see your friends commenting on what a beautiful family you have, because I think you are beautiful too!

Getting professional photos done is fun! We laugh, we joke, and I capture amazing memories for you and your family to cherish for years to come. This year, when it is time for your annual holiday photos, take a deep breath, relax, enjoy the process. Maybe have a glass of wine! And while you are at, will you bring me a glass too?!




For the month of December, we will be celebrating the holidays with our 12 Days of Christmas. Be sure to check back for a new holiday piece by a new contributor. 

Danielle Buss is a farmer's wife, 
stay at home mom and photographer.
Her work can be found at: 
https://www.facebook.com/daninicolephotos/